ugh…fv*k me.

Things have not been pleasant for lately….especially today.

I had to go see a doc because I injured my left knee 4 months ago at work. It only started hurting about a couple of weeks ago. The pain is getting worst. Ughhhhh….However, that’s not what got me alllllll kinds of upset. I got on the scale and I thought I weighted about 153 lbs. Negative. I weighed 163 lbs. This is the biggest that I’ve ever been in my life. IN. MY. LIFE.

I felt so bad about myself alllll day. Then a friend of mine made my day with her kind words. I lost weight before, granted it took me 2 years, but I did it. I can do it again. I. CAN. DO. IT. I’m proud of me because I didn’t eat fast food today nor did I drink a soda. I can do this. What I can’t do is put pressure on my left knee, so no squats, lunges, or anything that bends my knee. There’s ways around that. I can do this. It’s going to be hard, but I’ve got to maintain a positive attitude.

If there’s a will, there’s a way.

xoxo

I haven’t been posting lately due to not feeling well: mentally & physically.
I have been studying my Korean a little bit here and there, but mostly trying to figure myself out.

Work is 50/50. I go and do my job. Sometimes I get enjoyment and other times, I’m like “Another day on the job.” Why not quit? I do enjoy what I do…just not lately. Mainly because I feel like I’m not progressing as a manager [but how can you manage anything when you barely have anyone to manage?].

I’ve gotten back into the swing of things as far as working out. Taking baby steps as far as how often to work out. However, I am proud of myself of working up a sweat. My eating hasn’t changed…yet. But, I have slowed down on drinking soda all the time. Now, I drink cucumber lemon water and occasionally treat myself to a soda. So, I guess that a mini-progress.

Emotionally…I’m still figuring my 31 yrs old self out. Not as far as what I want to do with my life…per se. How I’m going to move forward with my life is the question. I try to garner positivity or at least seek it from somewhere…but, I always fail. So, I’m trying to find out what I’m doing wrong. Maybe there’s something that in front of me that I’m not seeings or refusing to see. Who knows?

xoxo

ehhhh….

I am such a terrible eater.
I’m so picky about my food that’s borderline ridiculous…okay, it’s simply ridiculous.
Not to mention those pesky food allergies.

About 8 months ago, I was doing really well on my lifestyle change as far as being healthy, although I still ate somewhat shoddy. Slowly, but surely [despite everything] I stopped working out. When the ahem happened, oh boy oh boy did I pig out. I gained almost all the weight that took me 2 years to lose. I feel utterly…ugh.

I’m frumpy all the time.

[fat + grumpy = frumpy]

I wanna stop being a frump and be a smexy little thing. [dafuq?] 😂
I do want to get back into shape. I was felt great and I was truly happy with myself and accomplishments. So, my goal is 30 days from now, I would like to be in the best shape of my life: staring today!

I already feel like I’m going to fail due to my pickiness. However, I’m going to try to cut out the breads, sodas, and my loving sweets. I think doing IIFYM or Keto diet would work for me the best. I do need to do a change, so that I’m a better influence for my kiddos.

Do I think I can do it? No, but I’m willing to try, lol. Look at all that positive thinking.

xoxo