ssssstressed….

I’ve been a bit stressed, but yesterday kind of hit the top for me.

I love my job, but I’m getting to the point where I actually feel like it’s not worth me going into work for the day. That’s baaaad. It’s not the parents or students, but some of the people that I work with. They don’t value the job or care about the job like I do. I don’t have the luxury of not showing up for whatever random reason.

I always tell myself: why care, if they don’t? The thing is: I do care. I care because if I did any of the crap that they’re doing, I would get fired. I shouldn’t have to carry the work load alone because I don’t work alone…[as of lately, I kind of am…]. I try to express my grievances, but I feel like it falls on deaf ears.

Emotionally, I’m tired of that place. I feel unappreciated and taken advantaged of. I don’t feel like I’m growing or progressing as a person. It’s simply, Erica’s there. She’ll handle it. She’ll take care of it. We preach about family and team work. But, we’re nothing of the sort.

I’m feeling burned out. I feel like  my feelings don’t mattered and dismissed. I feel like I just…don’t fit.

xoxo

sigh…

just laying here in the dark when I should be studying.

I’m bored out of my mind. I want to go outside, but its storming.

seems like nothing can just go as I plan.

I want to be happy, but I just can’t bring myself to do so.

I see others happy, but can’t help the envious feeling.

maybe its not in my cards to be so…happy.

I want a happy marriage as well, but let’s be real…is it possible?

full of uncertainty and disappointment at the moment.

Or maybe I’m just finally tired of it all.
xoxo